Actor and Life coach Sophie Linder-Lee
Do you have something that you are struggling with at the moment? I know what you’re thinking:
“Did she really just ask that?”
Of course you do, we all have ‘The Stuff’. It’s what makes us feel significant actually. All ‘The Stuff’ reminds us what’s important, what matters and that you’re alive enough to feel important enough to have ‘Stuff’.
But I want you to shake it all off for a minute and go back to basics, not as in a nice white M&S big pant basic. I mean the fundamentals. The actual real life living needs of performers.
So here’s the deal, you have 6 basic human needs. In order to have lasting fulfillment these 6 needs need to be met. If one of these needs aren’t being met or you’re getting them met in a negative way rather than an empowering way, well then that’s the real ‘Stuff’ you need to be facing. Until all these basic needs as performers are met than you may always feel ‘The Stuff’.
And here’s how you’re really bumming yourself out; what if I told you most of your problems, ‘The Stuff’, the mindset, you created them to help you to meet these needs, but in a negative way. Bummer! Shall we strike that and reverse it?
For a long career of pleasure rather than pain find out what you need to make sure you are taking care of yourself in a positive and empowering way.
Can you hand on heart 100% trust what you are capable of? I’m not asking you to trust what you know for sure, although that would be just wonderful, but baby steps. I’m asking you to trust what you are capable of. Unfortunately we don’t have annual subscriptions to crystal balls but we are constantly tuned into ourselves and our own personal dialogue. How are you talking to yourself? Because that becomes your mindset. We are such easy creatures, what we think is what we become. If you want to become something you have to think it first. So what are you thinking?
Only around 50% of our mindset is genetic make up, the other half we did ourselves. So I’m going to ask you again. Can you 100% trust what you are capable of? Because when you walk into that audition room or onto that stage that trust is the best and most basic need you own. Own yourself and trust your capabilities.
“How do I bloody well do that?”
Life is growth. You are growing up, growing old, growing wiser. If you are not growing you are dying. There are no plateaus in life.
We’ve heard all this before but sometimes it’s one of the most important “shoulder shakes” we need.
One of the most essential single acts you can do in life, to nurture a positive mindset, is to educate yourself and develop your skills.
All that trusting your capabilities we were talking about, you get that through growth. Take class, read books, watch people you admire, go on courses; that’s how you create a certainty about yourself and what you are capable of. By experiencing it and taking the time to be better.
In vocational careers where you, yourself and ye are the only cheerleader you have it’s important to harvest some real life support and connection. It may be enough to know that whatever happens you are loved unconditionally by your family. This is universal truth, even if you think they sometimes have a funny way of showing it, you bet they love you in a deep and unshakeable way. It’s kinda the law.
Having a strong group of friends and making the effort to connect with people on the whole makes for a far less lonelier journey. We all know you got this, you’re tough as boots, but sometimes you need a good pal to run around in those boots with you, drinking gin, so when the going gets tough, you don’t get going.
Open yourself up for the possibility of connection, you can never be over-supported, the ‘love tap’ does not over-floweth in anyone’s cup.
So you’re certain you trust yourself, your vision and your passion for the future of your life. Great. Excellent. So turns out I do have that annual subscription to that crystal ball after all and here’s exactly what’s going to happen to you every day for the rest of your life.
Do you want to see it?
Because you want to be surprised?
Ah, so you do like surprises after all. The good ones right though? The bad ones are just problems. What if I told you you’ll grow more from the bad than the good? Which surprises do you want now? Well as that covers two basic needs; growth and curiosity, I’m going to buckle up and be curious about what I can learn from those pesky “surprises” if and when they come along. By just opening your curiosity to problems, they’re already half way solved.
Curiosity is your greatest power in the face of uncertainty. Be curious enough to trust yourself that you are capable of handling it and curious about what new skills you will bring to the table.
Be curious for adventure.
When you have gathered some truth, feel supported and are curious enough to make mistakes, you can now take what you are learning through growth and give back.
How you gain your sense of contribution is your call. Maybe being part of this industry makes you feel you are contributing to the collective greatness of art and creativity. Maybe you need other ways to give back; charity, teaching, coaching, writing, making. Your contribution to this industry or life is a need that absolutely must be met in order to experience personal growth and for you to feel a certain significance. Dig deep and discover your positive contribution.
Ever wonder why you are so obsessed with yourself? Because you want to feel recognised for all the greatness you know you have inside you.
Imagine you are educating yourself and trusting your capabilities and then all of a sudden you feel good, and when you feel good, good things start to happen.
Feeling unique, significant, important, special is a very basic human need. If you don’t feel like you have something important to offer you are either a) lying to yourself or b) missing some of the other basic needs (my money’s on trust and growth).
People strive for recognition in plenty of different ways, it’s vital it’s met positively otherwise it will manifest by ‘acting out’ ie. attention seeking, lying and even violence. This ‘acting out’ gains the much needed recognition, but I’m sure you’ll agree, at a great cost to themselves. Recognition is a BIG need for performers and if it’s always been met by starving yourself of another need (support, truth, growth, contribution) then you will always feel unfulfilled.
One of the biggest complaints of performers is actually when they achieve their goals. What now? Where to? What next? Am I good enough to go to the next level or do I stay here?
Which needs do you think are lacking in that negative mindset?
Trust. Growth. Curiosity.
(Good you’re getting the hang of this.)
And with a bit of support, you can get back on the wheel and get yourself the next level of recognition for you and feel the joy of contribution to the industry.
When you start seeing the bigger picture, doesn’t it make prettiest jigsaw?!
So go forth and make art…and trust you have all you need.Follow us